Thursday, March 18, 2010

Dog doo doo

I used to say son of a bitch a lot but am trying to be better about cussing around the kids so I have pulled out the old dog doo doo I used at work.




I am an Aries and for the most part I fit the description. Passionate, firery temper etc..

I do have issues with change though.



I love rearranging furniture and moving stuff around but that is just about the only place I like my change. This explains why I stayed in a bad relationship for way to long and stay at jobs for about 5 years at a time. When pushed into a corner I can sometimes make quick decisions that, to my surprise, are the perfect solution.



This is one of those times.



Maybe.



We (I am) are out of money. I cut back the cable and internet, got rid of my old cell phone, turned down the temp, drive only when necessary, do the laundry in cold water and so on in an attempt to save money. It is now time to cut back on the day care. It has been 5 months. I am totally bonded with the baby and over my postpartum issues so why have I been throwing money at day care when I am not working?



I am saving my sanity that's why!



I love my son, He is the best of both me and my husband but I am a better Mom when I get some time away from him. That time not only allows me to catch up at home but allows me to recharge my patience.



I read a blog the other day in which a woman wrote about how she was at her breaking point with her kid in Target one day. One of those moments that you are grateful someone can see you so you do not give into the urge to smack the whine out of your kids voice! She said an older woman came up to her and said something basically like you are everything to your child. Her post was much better written and when I figure out what the hell I am doing I will link to it and give her the credit she is due. I just needed to read that at that moment. Now when my son is driving me crazy with his passive aggressive whining, just being a kid really and I am wanting to run away, I think about the fact that to him, I am his world. I am his mother, teacher and how to manual all in one plump, unshaven form. He is learning how to treat others by how I treat him and especially how I treat myself (note to self, start showering daily again).



This is my little pep talk to myself since I am biting the bullet and taking my son out of daycare. He can count to 20, speak in full sentences, feed himself, use the potty, wash up and take off all of his clothes in .5 seconds.



Surely I cannot fuck all that up by the time he starts school.



Right?

1 comment:

Elissa said...

Yay! You are posting and I am loving it!

You'll do great!